Not good

Not a good day today. We spent hours going through exercises, like, the Blancatrix shows me an image. If it's a cherry I point to the word cherry on the computer. Real rocket science. I get it wrong a few times, just to keep her interested, and then right, and she's all happy. Gives me a few treats. After a few hours of this, I was so fed up. I started getting every single one wrong, hoping she'd leave me off. She was talking to her assistant, telling him my pattern of right and wrong was very strange. Yeah, well, obviously as I show her I know some really hard stuff and pretend to not understand some totally simple stuff that even Xelsior can get. I'm thinking my strategy is not working well, as she's becoming so interested in me. I had to admit, I like a bit of attention plus I get some treats, plus she's almost cute when she jumps out of her seat and goes: well done, well done, chimp-ion (not my real name, remember?) With all that I have only another minute on this computer before they come and switch it off, no listening to music today, no roaming around. So I didn't get a pic too make my post look pretty, no time for that.

A bit of music

Hey, check it out, I added a little picture too.
Xelsior has shown me how to listen to music on the computer. I was surprised, and a bit vexed, that he should show me anything. I mean, I'm always showing stuff to him. Basic stuff like how to have two windows open so the Blancatrix doesn't see what we're doing when she comes in, I'm sure you're familiar with that little technique. Instead of writing I'm going to listen to a few tracks. I don't know anything, I was thinking, Britany Spears, 'cause I see her name all over the place, and maybe Jimi Hendrix 'cause some of you like him. Uh, and that's it, but feel free to send recommendations. I prefer the kind of music you can climb to or scratch to.

Chimp with razor! Watch out!

Interesting. Melba has started playing around with the razor. The one we stole from the journalist. Xelsior thought it was an iPod. It was hard work convincing him you could not get music out of that thing. Stellar managed to plug it in when we were alone and did some work on her face. When she was done, we were speechless. She looked like one of them. Our jailers. Not as ugly, because her face is not so flat with those horrible, long, pointy noses that they have. And their plucky tight lips. But still. We were rolling around, laughing our heads off.
- Hey, Stellar, - I said. You're going to get us all in trouble when they see your face.
- Yeah, plus we'll loose the razor, they'll confiscate it.
- We might want to use it again.
We rubbed her face with old banana skins to make it brown, because her skin was amazingly pale once it was shaved. She scratched it to make it swollen and bloody. She's tough, Stellar. As soon as she heard one of our jailers come in, she rushed to her cot and lied down. It was Colokempo, Blancatrix' young assistant. He was setting up equipment for a new experiment. Stellar kept lying there, with her back to us. We thought he never would, but eventually, he did notice her. He approached her and turned her on her side. When he saw her face, he rushed out of the room. Fun for us, because we got time to play around with the electronic equipment. Blancatrix came running in and shrieked when she saw Stellar who was pretending to be too sick to get up. Stellar even managed to refuse a piece of candy that they offered her. Awesome. And now they're all worried about her, she doesn't have to do any work just getting pampered to death. Wish I had her brains.
Pffew. And have had no time no opportunity to look into getting myself a facebook.

Facebook?

I'm curious about this facebook thing. Everybody being on facebook. I wonder whether I should have a facebook, and could I have a facebook or would that be too difficult to pull. Feel free to leave me suggestions, here, friends. Could I link up with some cool dudes, like gorillas or antelopes?

A good day

Had a pretty good day today. Paid my mate Xelsior (a pseudonym, I repeat, to protect him) 20 M&M to do my exercises this afternoon. Meanwhile I surfed the web, found a few sites about fruit recipes. I have a weakness for fruit mousses, pear gratin, that kind of stuff. Let me tell you, they're not part of our daily meals. It's the raw diet here, they must think we're overweight. I also went on a few sites about Africa. They always give me a funny feeling in the stomach. Never been there myself. I remember watching wild life programs with my Mom. I was really little and hadn't been taken away from her yet. I would cuddle up on her lap, she'd scratch my head and all was good. We were watching one about Kenya and she suddenly jumped up. She was very excited.
- Look! Chimp-ion! That's your uncle Boodalaya, I could tell him apart from one million others, with those short arms and heavy built, we used to call him, "hey, human"! That's him, oh yes! And that might be my cousin Fomi, that short chap.
My Mom had lived in our homeland. I don't know how much she missed it. I think she didn't like being locked up so much, instead of roaming around. And she was used to be in a larger social group which is more fun, she said. But she liked that we were guaranteed a meal every day. Well, especially for me. And that no wild animal would catch me and run away with me in its teeth. My Mom loved me and took good care of me. I miss her. Don't even know where she is. They didn't feel they needed to tell me. OK, am getting all sentimental. Better stop here and log out. Bye. Oo-oo-aa-aa.

The loot

Good loot today: three packs of chewing gum, one Twix, one bag of M&M and an electric razor. Not sure what we'll do with that but I'll think of something. And we were, oops, gotta

Big boolahoola

I can only squeeze in a minute at the computer while everybody's running around preparing for the day. Scientists and journalists will be visiting, if I got it right. We're going to spend most of the day doing tricks while they go oh and ah. And no time to jump in on my new passion: talking to you chimps out there. Hopefully we'll get a few forbidden treats from the journalists. My mate Stellar (not real name, see previous blog) goes wild for a few minutes, pretending to bite journalists. Everybody gets really worked out and Blancatrix will go crazy trying to catch her. Meanwhile I go through their bags, sure to find some interesting stuff: chewing gum (I like watermelon), Reese cup, iPods, money. I see the dominatrix coming this way, better log off. Oo-oo-aa-aa.

At last - or - I'm the best

I've got it at last. My own blog. It was not easy. I had to pretend to give the Blancatrix a biiiig huuuug to spy her password. She always falls for it, once my hairy arms are around her neck and I put on my cutesy expression. As usual she had sit me at the computer to do all sorts of experiments and learning on the computer. All for a few pieces of half rotting pinapple. No minimal wage here. As soon as she was out of the room, I opened a new screen window, went online and I was in. My blog. Hellooooo, all you chimps out there! Time to express ourselves! OO-OO-AA, OO-OO-AA.