yet another fantastic scientific discovery

From the New York Times (well, yes, I read all sorts of things, there is no stopping my brilliant mind):

"Yet monkeys have been around for 30 million years without saying a single sentence. Chimps, too, have nothing resembling language, though they shared a common ancestor with humans just five million years ago. What is it that has kept all other primates locked in the prison of their own thoughts? etc etc"

The ... the ... the arrogance of it! Humans are just so... so... so behind. Retarded. Slow. They think if they don't understand another species language, it means those inferior beings don't talk. Wouldn't cross their mind that with their very limited senses (wait, here's the list, humans can hardly smell, hear really badly, sense of taste limited, sense of touch not too bad, and vision average) they would not perceive the language of others. They just assume they are so superior. But here's a question for you all, apes, humans, aliens, worms, anyone who reads this blog: who has just completely messed up our planet? Huh? Huh? OO-AA OO-AA, say no more.

By the way, the pic above IS NOT ME working on a keyboard I'm putting together, OK?!!

Cat-a-strophe!

The Blancatrix. Wants to work with me on a series of exercises including blocks and letters. She's still convinced I'm a special case. Because most times I mess up her tests as if I were the stupidest of stupidest monkeys. Then I perform a series of tests brilliantly (because I am brilliant, that should be clear to all by now) and she scratches her head. Calls her assistant. Calls in other professors and they all look at me as if I were a brand new BMW. Anyway, I thought I was being smart, and now I'm stuck with blocks. As if I were a baby or something. And guess what that means: cut down in computer time. I mean, Xelsior has 20 times more access to the computers now, because he hasn't been deemed (good word, that, OO-OO AA-AA) such an interesting learning case. Anyway, Melba let me use hers while nobody's looking but I think I hear the assistant coming back, good bye, more later. OO-OO, AA-AA, OO-OO, AA-AAAAAAAAA.

sad for Haiti

I have been following the news on the Internet. Feeling really sad for the people of Haiti. I always felt my situation is the most desperate, and for once, I have to admit they need all the sympathy. Wish I could help them. I can only send them my cry of sympathy over the ocean: OO-OO, AA-AA, OO-OO, AA-AA. On a sad note.

Such a groundbreaking experiment

Did you see that show with that experiment on baby monkey rhesus? On TV last night? I mean, some guy in a white coat - I know, it was, like, 50 years ago, but believe me it's not that different now, check out Lil Jack, some guy in a white coat thinks, "wonder what would happen if we took a baby monkey away from his Mom". And the incredible result from that experiment is that they find out the baby monkey is unhappy. Wow. Rocket science.

I have a few experiments in mind myself. Take guy in white coat. Strip. Put in glass cage. Place glass cage in the middle of Time Square. Study the effect on the feeling of privacy of guy. Would he feel more privacy? Less privacy?

Take guy in white coat. Or woman, I'm not prejudiced, I'm not sexist. Deprive person of food for five days. Put person in front of food out of reach. Do they want the food more than before they were starved? Less?

Enragedly OOO-OOO-AAA-AAA-OOO-OOO-AAA-AAA. You've heard it before, it's my war cry. Oh yeah, and happy new year.