Cat-a-strophe!

The Blancatrix. Wants to work with me on a series of exercises including blocks and letters. She's still convinced I'm a special case. Because most times I mess up her tests as if I were the stupidest of stupidest monkeys. Then I perform a series of tests brilliantly (because I am brilliant, that should be clear to all by now) and she scratches her head. Calls her assistant. Calls in other professors and they all look at me as if I were a brand new BMW. That's a fancy car humans salivate about, I saw the ads on everything. Anyway, I thought I was being smart, and now I'm stuck with blocks. As if I were a baby or something. And guess what that means: cut down my computer time. I mean, Xelsior has 20 times more access to the computers now, because he hasn't been deemed (good word, that, OO-OO AA-AA) such an interesting learning case. Anyway, Melba let me use hers while nobody's looking but I think I hear the assistant coming back, good bye, more later. OO-OO, AA-AA, OO-OO, AA-AAAAAAAAA.

sad for Haiti

I have been following the news on the Internet. Feeling really sad for the people of Haiti. I always felt my situation is the most desperate, and for once, I have to admit they need all the sympathy. Wish I could help them. I can only send them my cry of sympathy over the ocean: OO-OO, AA-AA, OO-OO, AA-AA. On a sad note.

Such a groundbreaking experiment

Did you see that show with that experiment on baby monkey rhesus? On TV last night? I mean, some guy in a white coat - I know, it was, like, 50 years ago, but believe me it's not that different now, check out Lil Jack, some guy in a white coat thinks, "wonder what would happen if we took a baby monkey away from his Mom". And the incredible result from that experiment is that they find out the baby monkey is unhappy. Wow. Rocket science.

I have a few experiments in mind myself. Take guy in white coat. Strip. Put in glass cage. Place glass cage in the middle of Time Square. Study the effect on the feeling of privacy of guy. Would he feel more privacy? Less privacy?

Take guy in white coat. Or woman, I'm not prejudiced, I'm not sexist. Deprive person of food for five days. Put person in front of food out of reach. Do they want the food more than before they were starved? Less?

Enragedly OOO-OOO-AAA-AAA-OOO-OOO-AAA-AAA. You've heard it before, it's my war cry. Oh yeah, and happy new year.

A war cry

On Christmas day we got a surprise visit from the Blancatrix. She brought us some lovely really fresh fruit and some sorbet. About half a teaspoon per chimp, but better than nothing. Some more hand me down clothes for Melba (there's progress here). And a few dumb toys for all of us, as if all we can do is throw a doggie ball around. Still I was amazed. Could it be that she has feelings? Feelings for us? It'd never crossed my mind.

Another thing. Xelsior has been watching movies on hulu and the like, things like Rambo and Hulk. I suspect he thinks they're real. That they're real people doing real stuff. Cute. He came to me all excited and told me and Stellar.
- I got it. For Lil Jack. We gotta fight our way out of this place and find his mother. It's that simple. With a few hand grenades and automatic weapons, we can do it.
Stellar and I didn't even have to say anything, like, uh, where would we get the grenades and weapons? Still we looked at each other. We looked at Xelsior who was pretending to shoot through the walls. We looked at Melba trying on her new dress up clothes. At Lil Jack sucking his thumb in a corner with a forelorn look in his eyes.
- He's got a point, said Stellar.
I nodded. More later. OO-oo-aa-aa, oo-oo-aa-aa. A war cry.

Byerk. It's Xmas Eve

Hello, out there, this is Chimp-ion talking. I am not in a good mood. I am in fact in a filthy mood. So filthy that I am not even putting a picture up. I've been putting up all these pretty pictures, and what do I get in return? Nothing. In fact you need to send me a picture for a change and I'll post it. Get it?

Anyway. Everybody's been soooo excited about Christmas around here. I'm talking about the hysterical animals in the white coats, not us noble creatures. Uh-hum. We're not looking forward to the holiday, because it means minimum staff, minimum attention, minimum food which is even less fresh than usual. I'm planning on retiring to a corner as we speak, and nobody bother me, OK? AAA-OOOOOO-AAAAA-OOO. Checking out.

A very angry Xelsior

This is not a picture of Xelsior this morning, OK, I repeat, not Xelsior!

Hum. Was Xelsior angry with me this morning. I thought maybe he would not realize I had unburdened Lil Jack on him, but if he's not a genius (that's me) he's not as dumb as I think him to be. He came all puffing steam at me:
- Hey, what did you think you were doing, having Lil Jack sleep with me? I didn't sleep a wink! I'm going to knock you out and you're going to sleep for a long long time.
Two things about Xelsior. Which prove that it was not a wise choice. He really really hates to be woken up, sleep is his thing, he says sleeping is the best part of his day. And when he gets mad he scratches and he bites and he's big, way bigger than me, even if we're about the same age. I tried to calm him down while jumping around to avoid his punches:
- Ok, ok, I didn't know. Sorry. We need to find a solution. Calm down now. Let's talk. Use words. Melba, Stellar, help! Heeeelp!
Finally, Melba and Stellar who were playing some kind of game in the corner came to my rescue. Stellar spoke first.
- We need to find a solution for Lil Jack.
- Well, yeah, I said, you haven't had him yet, I think it's your turn, Stellar.
She replied, very cool like, she can be really annoying.
- Try to be a bit more mature, Chimp-ion. We have a problem with Lil Jack and we need to solve it. Anybody has ideas?
- We could have him drink beer before he goes to sleep. That'll keep him quiet.
- Brilliant, Chimp-ion, brilliant. We're friends with Lil Jack, right? We like him?
We all had to agree we did like Lil Jack.
- The solution seems really simple to me. We need to find his Mom, added Stellar.
We were speechless.

Happinessss! SSSleep!!

Happiness. After four night of being kept awake by Mr. Lil jack, I have managed to unload the small adorable baby onto Xelsior. Tried the same trick Melba did on me: he's sooo cute. He soooo would like to spend some time with you, because you're soooo cool. He sooooo would like to spend the night with you. Xelsior should have suspected something, as i was so tired I could hardly stand on my paws. Legs. Whatever. Anyway gotta run because I'm falling asleep on this computer as I write. So, see you all soon, xoxoxo, and AAAAA-OOOOOO-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.